True Blood – Season 4

Let’s face it: we love vampires. We love vampires since Bram Stoker, Christopher Lee and Leslie Nielsen. We do not love Edward Cullen, but this is another matter since he’s clearly not a real vampire… He can walk outside at daylight and he sparkles, for god’s sake. But we got it, nowadays vampires needs to be cooler than an old and ugly Gary Oldman licking a razor blade or crawling the ceiling like Spider Man (Though I happen to enjoy it, every once in a while).

We thought we found a good compromise in True Blood. Handsome vampires that DO turn into ashes and bloody guts when walking outside at daytime. Seems fair enough. Plus, in the True Blood world, they do not have to hide anymore since they live among humans as a community/minority. So, their seemingly normal lives lead to seemingly normal behaviours, like having sex. Now, let’s be honest: we all watch True Blood because of the two things Twilight lacks: blood and sex. True Blood‘s vampire are hot sex machines, which mostly makes the series a sort of enjoyable and guilt-free soft-porn show. Now… What the hell happened?! I guess that if you’re reading this post, you have seen season 4. Well, let me check if I got this right:

– Jason is in love with Jessica… wtf?! Dear Alan Ball, Ryan is hot and dumb. If he quits fucking random women, we’ll have to listen to what he has to say. No good.

– We spent 80% of the season with a romantic, Bambi-like eyed Eric. Dear Alan Ball, we watch True Blood because of wicked, sexy, heartless, smart-ass Eric. Do you really think anyone cares about Bill and Sookie? Anna Paquin does not fit in Sookie’s shoes as much as she did not fit in X-Men’s Rogue shoes.  Bill wears eyeliner and he’s the closest thing we got to Edward Cullen. This season almost looked like a sitcom. At some point, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see Eric open Sookie’s door, yelling “Honey, I’m home!”.

– Suddenly, all the secondary characters got leading roles. Why? What happened? Eho cares about them? What’s with the fairy that raped Sheriff Andy? What’s with the panthers raping Jason? Seriously… What’s with that?!

– We got it, Alan, you tried to catch up with the season finale. The last five minutes, in fact, were absolutely mind-blowing. Also, you left us hoping that we finally got rid of Tara-pain-in-the-ass. Thank you. Thank you also for episode 4×11, when Eric rips the guy’s heart and drinks it using its aorta as a straw. But what about all the rest? Where was all the rest?

Dear Alan Ball, thanks for having a second thought on the Sookie-living-with-the-fairies thing. But also… Do you remember seasons 1 and 2? We do too. Did you love them? We did too. Unlike seasons 3 and 4. So please, do what you must and be a badass gain.

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6 comments on “True Blood – Season 4

  1. Francy says:

    Who’s Ryan that’s in love with Jessica? You mean Jason or Hoyt? And I totally agree with you: Chupa Chups Paquin is NOT Sookie, but Stephen Moyer is absolutely BEEEEEEEEEEL: and he should vanish like Bill did – in the second book.

  2. Jersey says:

    You’re right, my bad. For some reason I wrote the actor’s name instead of the character’s… I need to get a real life -_-‘

  3. brikhaus says:

    A lot of the dropped or non-sensical story threads came from the books and were dropped in favor of more retarded things. I, too, am glad that Tara is probably dead (*fingers crossed*). I was surprised that everyone hated Memory-Wipe-Eric, because I thought he was hilarious. Wasn’t that the point? My wife said that was in the book, but executed far better there. It seems like the story of True Blood is going to be “The books did it better.” I hope they kill off more secondary characters in season five.

    • Jersey says:

      Dumb Eric was fun… for a couple of episodes. Then he became annoying cuz he lost most of his badass charm. Plus there wasn’t much else to rely on, on that matter. I guess that’s why I missed old Eric so much!

      I’ve been told the same things about the books, I’ll probably start reading them as soon as I finish the Game of Thrones series 😉
      Have you read Dexter’s books? Well, guess what… I think that, in this case, the series is way better!

      Thanks for stopping by

  4. AORTA!! THAT was the word I was looking for. I used artery, and I knew when I wrote it it was the wrong choice. LOL

    Nice post Jersey!

    I’m sure you know where I agree, you’ve read a couple of mine… where I disagree is Jessica/Jason. They just need to hook up every week. I’d be good with that. I also really liked last season. I thought the Russell Edgington stuff was awesome. I’m not the hugest fan of season 2, actually. To me it feels like TB has an every other season track record.

    So, we’ll see. I guess I dont mind the Faeries if they’re just going to randomly pop in now and then. But if we have a major plotline anything at all like the first episode this year? EEESSSHHH…

    • Jersey says:

      Gald my post came handy!

      I think that the Jason/Jessica affair could work out pretty well if Hoyt stays in the equation… And if Jason keeps on fucking random girls anyway.
      I agree about Edgington, I LOVE him and I’m so glad he’s coming back. I did not like season three, but now that I’ve watched season 4 I’m having a second thought about!

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