Pleading For Zombies

I think there’s something we all noticed: monsters trend. Blame it on Buffy, Twilight, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, Falling Skies, Super 8The Walking Dead, Teen Wolf, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, whatever comes from outer space or whatever has been cursed or killed and then came back. Overall, the message is clear: vampires are sexy and sophisticated. Werewolves are on a lower level, but still they’re hotties who can make a girl’s heart beat. Aliens are ugly, but they’re often misunderstood and there’s a good chance they can become a kid’s best friends. Zombies are just very slow, grumbling brain-eaters who do shed lot of blood and guts. So, looks like every monster has its bit of happiness, be it in the shape of love, friendship or sex. They all do, except for zombies. What I am therefore pleading here is some sympathy for these miserable creatures. Ok, they do eat brains… But this does not prevent any writer from inventing a “Tru Brain” or from creating zombies that only eat animals’ brains. Also, who said that zombies cannot have feelings? They clearly have some trouble speaking and their meat-eater instinct prevails most of the times but, as Strother Martin in Cool Hand Luke would put it: “What we have here, is a lack of communication”. I guess that humans would be a little more understanding in front of a sated zombie. ‘Cause if you think about it, Goonie‘s Sloth had some communication problems too… But it was fine anyway, cause at least he never tried to eat Chunk’s brain. I think that the time has come for a turning point in Zombies’ public image: Plants vs Zombies, Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead showed us that these revolting undead can be funny. Notw, it could be The Walking Dead‘s opportunity to take a groundbreaking step: how about Shane that, disappointed by Lori coming back in her husband’s arms, runs away from humans and falls in love with a she-zombie? Think about it, Mr. Darabont. Maybe it’s going to be the greatest bullshit ever… Or maybe not.


5 comments on “Pleading For Zombies

  1. I hate to break this to you, but I guess you haven’t heard. Frank Drabont is out as “Walking Dead” showrunner.

    Budget battles. I hope the show continues to be really really good. A lot of people had some complaints anyways, especially about the CDC finale…

    That said, funny post 😀 Keep up the good work Jersey!

  2. Jersey says:

    Damn, I missed that news! It’s uch a bummer. As you wrote, Darabont seemed to be the creative driving force and I just read on the HR that AMC also cut the budget… Well, fingers crossed for season 2!

  3. You might want to check out 2006’s “Zombies Anonymous”, also known as “Last Rites of the Dead”.

    Its premise is basically Tru Zombies, but it’s alot less sexy about it. It’s also pretty terrible. But it does have coherent Zombies existing and being repressed in the modern world.

    Also, there’s 1993’s Zom-Rom-Com “My Boyfriend’s Back”:

    Get yourself in the mood for a cheesefest, first though. These are both pretty much as bad as you’d expect.

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